お母さんへの手紙
15歳の息子が置手紙を残して駆け落ち!?・・・こんなの読んだら、真っ青です。
Dear Mom,
A mother passing by her son's bedroom was astonished to
see the bed was nicely made and everything was picked up.
Then she saw an envelope propped up prominently on the center
of the bed.
It was addressed: "Mom".
With the worst premonition, she opened the envelope and read the
letter with trembling hands:
It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing you.
I had to elope with my new girlfriend because I wanted to avoid
a scene with Dad and you.
I've been finding real passion with Joan and she is so nice.....
even with all her piercings, tattoos, and her tight motorcycle clothes.
But it's not only the passion Mom, she's pregnant and Joan said
that we will be very happy.
Even though you don't care for her as she is so much older than I,
she already owns a trailer in the woods and has a stack of
firewood for the whole winter.
She wants to have many more children with me and that's now
one of my dreams too.
Joan taught me that marijuana doesn't really hurt anyone and
we'll be growing it for us and trading it with her friends for all the
cocaine and ecstasy we want!
In the meantime, we'll pray that science will find a cure for AIDS
so Joan can get better, she sure deserves it!!
Don't worry Mom, I'm 15 years old now and I know how to take
care of myself. Someday I'm sure we'll be back to visit so you can
get to know your grandchildren.
Your Son, John
P.S. Mom, NONE of the above is true.
I'm over at the Mike's. I just wanted to remind you that there are
worse things in life than my report card that's in my desk center
drawer.
I LOVE YOU!
Call when it is safe for me to come home.
★ 単語 ★
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propped up もたせかけられた
prominently 目立つように
premonition 予感
trembling 震える
elope 駆け落ちする
trailer トレーラーハウス (移動住宅)
cocaine, ecstasy コカイン、エクスタシー (どちらも麻薬)
report card 成績表
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★ 日本語訳 ★
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おもしろいジョークです。ぜひ英語のまま楽しんでください!